The Necessity of Usefulness

        Finding purpose is the most difficult challenge that is presented to us as people. It provides both this feeling of uselessness and a strive to be useful when in reality, are any of us truly useful? See there i go getting negative again, whining like some teenager fresh off a spree of angsty, punk-rock concerts and dying my hair two shades of red just to piss my seemingly conservative parents off.

    Useful is the most useless feeling, it is really just a word of trickery because in the end you are only as useful as the person or process recognizing your usefulness, otherwise and in the true grand scheme, we are all useless. Our lives operate based on that sole need to feel like we are doing something that contributes to the reason behind the drive of achieving this feeling of usefulness. I feel like this an argument made only by sad people though, for what is useful sadness? Those who are happy know their purpose no matter how much someone else may tell them that purpose is worthless, i.e. the saying, "Do what you love and you'll never work a day in life." It is an idiom of usefulness and uselessness and the real challenge is knowing which one you feel like most.

    I find that there are days where I feel particularly useful, such as at work, because I can plainly see the dependence others have on the role that I play within the company and yet one of the largest issues within this company is people feeling like they are un-cared for, so useless, to the operation of the company. Why is it that the place I can sometimes feel useful is the same place others cannot?

      However, we have all had those days at work where we leave with the thought, if I died tonight and did not show up in the morning, would anybody notice at all? Well, that is how I view usefulness in life, if I passed tonight, how useful would I be projected to be by those who surround me? My hope would be infinitely useful and sorely missed, but based on the nature of usefulness as a dominant feeling, I would perceive none. As it is both a gift and a curse, I can only hope as I grow older with each passing year, it becomes conceivably more clear what sort of overall usefulness I truly possess, and how much more assurance I need before knowing that happiness of being needed.


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